Crummy Mummy Does Hallowe'en
Hallowe'en Treats? Oops, Forgot About the Recall
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by Deborah Peraya
To: vivi@gmail.com
From: HYPERLINK "mailto:babe@daddygone.ca" babe@daddygone.ca
Subject: Fright Nights
Bring back the good ol’ days of apples and razor blades cos this Melamine thing is seriously screwing with my Halloween handout. I’d finally saved enough chocolate coins from three years of miscellaneous loot bags and festivus celebrations to get me a decent sized stash to give out. Not to mention the INCREDIBLE restraint on my part from not eating any of it whenever I turned into a raging PMS psycho.
But no. No sooner do I get Ellie’s nurse costume made (and yes, it was my old fetish number but safety pins are fab for both holding up AND holding together so I think I pulled it off sufficiently to fool the parent police), then I go for a quick email check before that first “trick or treat” knocks at my door.
It was a total fluke I even read about the recall in time. I mean if I was going to read every email notice called RECALL RECALL RECALL that I got, I’d never get anything done. Anyways, the chocolate had to go. It was time for Plan B. Luckily, I’m amazingly adaptive. Old goldfish crackers are deliciously revived when doused in enough maple syrup. Wrap in unused (that part is important) rolling papers, lick and you’ve got a fun, edible, sealed treat.
Take that Martha Stewart!
From: HYPERLINK "mailto:babe@daddygone.ca" babe@daddygone.ca
Subject: Fright Nights
Bring back the good ol’ days of apples and razor blades cos this Melamine thing is seriously screwing with my Halloween handout. I’d finally saved enough chocolate coins from three years of miscellaneous loot bags and festivus celebrations to get me a decent sized stash to give out. Not to mention the INCREDIBLE restraint on my part from not eating any of it whenever I turned into a raging PMS psycho.
But no. No sooner do I get Ellie’s nurse costume made (and yes, it was my old fetish number but safety pins are fab for both holding up AND holding together so I think I pulled it off sufficiently to fool the parent police), then I go for a quick email check before that first “trick or treat” knocks at my door.
It was a total fluke I even read about the recall in time. I mean if I was going to read every email notice called RECALL RECALL RECALL that I got, I’d never get anything done. Anyways, the chocolate had to go. It was time for Plan B. Luckily, I’m amazingly adaptive. Old goldfish crackers are deliciously revived when doused in enough maple syrup. Wrap in unused (that part is important) rolling papers, lick and you’ve got a fun, edible, sealed treat.
Take that Martha Stewart!
