The Unspoken Birthday Party Rules
17/02/08 20:47
compiled by Ranting Parents
The Official Unofficial List...
Deborah Williams Says:
Birthday Party Rule #1
Reciprocate, Reciprocate, Reciprocate
Birthday Party Rule #2
Hurt Feelings Mandatory
Feelings will be hurt when you discover your little Jaspreet is the only one that hasn’t been invited to over-dressed Danika’s “whole-class” event, even though attending it would have meant canceling your family vacation to drive in grid-lock across 4 suburbs to “the Chunk-O-Cheddar Fun Hut for the Morbidly-Chubby”
Jude Weir Adds...
Birthday Party Rule #3:
Go One Better... but just a bit.
Be aware, at all times, of what took place at the 5 parties previous to your child's. You MUST exceed the Excitement and Expenditure quotient by no less than 25% (for the kids sake) but no more than 28% (for the sake of the next parent).
Birthday Party Rule #4:
Choke Hazard mandatory
The items included in the goody bag may not have any practical use, must be flimsy and pose a choking threat to younger siblings so they might enjoy the birthday experience too.
NOTE: any "craft" actually created by a child may not be deemed the/a goody bag item.
Ali Kelly Adds...
Birthday Party Rule # 5
Exotic Themes
Theme or birthday parties are more fun if they reflect what the birthday child's parent studied at university. ie Come as your favourite: Greek God; 18th century poet; pope; character from 'The Canterbury Tales'; calculus problem.
Know a rule we missed? Send it in! We'll add it.
Birthday Party Rule #1
Reciprocate, Reciprocate, Reciprocate
A birthday party invitation must be reciprocated with a crappy gift and a returned birthday invitation, which must be responded to with an equally cheap useless, toxic, present, and another and another ....until there is no space in anyone’s home, save for the plethora of pink plastic puppy palace’s and sit-down-Barbie lawnmowers, assembled by one eyed, lame, foreign-toddlers who don’t get a glass of water a yearm
year, let alone a 4 tiered kiwi/basil gelato cake.Birthday Party Rule #2
Hurt Feelings Mandatory
Feelings will be hurt when you discover your little Jaspreet is the only one that hasn’t been invited to over-dressed Danika’s “whole-class” event, even though attending it would have meant canceling your family vacation to drive in grid-lock across 4 suburbs to “the Chunk-O-Cheddar Fun Hut for the Morbidly-Chubby”
Jude Weir Adds...
Birthday Party Rule #3:
Go One Better... but just a bit.
Be aware, at all times, of what took place at the 5 parties previous to your child's. You MUST exceed the Excitement and Expenditure quotient by no less than 25% (for the kids sake) but no more than 28% (for the sake of the next parent).
Birthday Party Rule #4:
Choke Hazard mandatory
The items included in the goody bag may not have any practical use, must be flimsy and pose a choking threat to younger siblings so they might enjoy the birthday experience too.
NOTE: any "craft" actually created by a child may not be deemed the/a goody bag item.
Ali Kelly Adds...
Birthday Party Rule # 5
Exotic Themes
Theme or birthday parties are more fun if they reflect what the birthday child's parent studied at university. ie Come as your favourite: Greek God; 18th century poet; pope; character from 'The Canterbury Tales'; calculus problem.
Know a rule we missed? Send it in! We'll add it.
